Notes pertaining to our bathroom

Shower issue #1. Our shower simply does not function effectively as such. It was certainly not intended to do so when the building was erected in 1956, and therefore does not perform that function today. Originally equipped with a simple tub, capable of holding large quantities of water for the purpose of bathing, the building planners did not anticipate the day when people would rather stand under a flowing stream of water than sit in an enormous pool of it. This is perhaps forgivable, since in 1956 there were undoubtedly still many people in Berlin who would have been happy just to have some semblance of cleaning facilities at all. However, the circumstances of our bathtub have not gracefully evolved, as one might expect; while I do not believe that we are currently using exactly the same bathtub that was used in the 1950s, I doubt the current occupant of this position in our water closet has changed much, if at all, in substance. (In German one would say that while it is not "das selbe" bathtub, it is "das gleiche.") The result is that the facility is really not appropriate for showering at all; the space between the shower curtain and the wall is far too narrow, to the point that the showerer finds themselves either hugging the untiled dry-wall (estimate for tiling forthcoming in a future posting) or with wet, cold shower curtain uncomfortably adhering to one's back like a cheap polyester T-shirt after gym class.

Shower issue #2. I suppose this problem is not specifically a shower problem, but rather a shower/toilet problem, or more specifically, a general plumbing issue related to the bathroom on the whole. The fact that the functionality of those two facilities (shower and toilet) are indeed closely related to one another in our bathroom is indeed a problem in itself, one that I shall here henceforth describe. Having used the aforementioned shower for approximately two months now, I now do not consider it a great shock when the water temperature (heretofore estimated in degrees Fahrenheit) suddenly and violently alters itself, often changing from a nominally comfortable 90 to 100 to perhaps a chilly 40 to 50. The water temperature also changes at times suddenly to a scalding 150, depending on, well, I'm not sure exactly. It may be that my wife, seeking dark humor in the form of my loud and sudden howling, is turning on and off the hot water in the kitchen in order to make tea or wash dishes. But it may also lay in the fact that the hot water heater seems capable of heating a very limited amount of water at a time -- so limited, in fact, that one can not reasonably expect to take a shower of reasonable duration with such an amount. Now what exactly, you may ask, does this have to do with the toilet? Indeed, despite over two months of near daily use, I ask myself the same question, although I can assure you the relationship between the shower and toilet is quite a crucial one. There is a knob above the toilet (it is actually easily reached while standing on the one side in the bathtub, one of the few positive features of the room) that allows one to adjust the amount of cold water pressure that enters the bathroom. In order not to suddenly and violently be left without an appropriate supply of comfortably heated water, one must make sure that this highly sensitive knob is adjusted just so in order to permit the proper measure of cold water into the shower. However, one must not block this cold water completely, as when this occurs, the toilet will not reload itself, and will therefore not function properly.

Shower issue #3: If you've read this far, by now you've probably determined that I am no plumbing expert. But nor do I aspire to become one, or claim to be one. Still, there are certain aspects of plumbing that seem obvious to me, namely the traits that make the discipline what it is, or that can be used to distinguish effective plumbing from not-so-effective plumbing. As an example, certain bathrooms (not ours) have a closed system of pipes that work together to channel waste water safely away from the bathroom. One generally cannot hear or see evidence of such systems, as they are concealed behind fixtures or beneath flooring; the very fact that they are closed networks of pipes lends to the fact that one cannot, for example, hear water dripping into an open drain after washing one's hands in the sink. While the sound of such drippings is not really all that bad or disturbing, it is rather unpleasent and it does occur on occasion that particular and peculiar odors come wafting out of such an open drain. The generally has led us to the conclusion that it is almost always to our advantage to leave the bathroom window open in order to ensure regular ventilation. However, doing so tends to exacerbate the aforementioned issues, such as the Cold Shower Curtain On Your Back Phenomenon and the Freezing Me And Burning Me Concurrently Conundrum.