Global Cold Remedies

A typical pose for me, as of recent.

There's a pretty reasonable chance that if you've run into me in the last six months, I've been dealing with some kind of sniffle; Indeed, I think that since I've moved here, I've gotten at least six head colds and one bizarre case of the flu. I've been so regularly sick in the past months, in fact, that I don't even bother much about it anymore. Despite the fact that my eyes were puffy and my nose was running yesterday morning, I still completed my homework and headed over to the Volkshochschule for my daily German class. I figure if I stayed home every time I had a little sniffle or headache or sneezing fit, I'd miss a quarter of the classes. Clearly I'm no hypochondriac.

Anyway, my dear classmates, all of them from different corners of the globe and the majority of them being women, have now taken notice of my seemingly chronic common cold, and as of Monday, started peppering me with suggestions for cold remedies from their homelands, most of which I have tried:

Spanish Remedy
Method: Grate fresh ginger, boil, pour through a sieve and add honey. Drink while hot.
Effect: I think it may have helped clear up my nasal passage a little, but it turned my stomach, almost immediately. I didn't vomit, but the stuff tastes really bad, and in the morning, the effects had already worn off. I was told that I didn't drink enough of it (a liter is the recommended dosage), but I don't know if I could have held down much more than the two cups or so I drank.

Macedonian Remedy
Method: Boil water. Squeeze the juices of a lemon into it. Add honey. Drink while hot.
Effect: Similar to Spanish method, but tastes much better.

Russian Remedy
Method: Acquire fresh raspberry jam. Consume several spoonfuls before going to bed, followed by numerous cups of hot tea, which should cause you to perspire.
Effect: Not yet tested, although I now have a jar of the jam sitting in my refrigerator.

German Remedy
Method: Purchase beer. Do not put it in the refrigerator or a cool place. Consume.
Effect: I must say I slept pretty well last night, although the beer was probably too cold. Still, I don't see how this varies from normal behavior, as Germans usually drink beer at room temperature. I still have a cold.

German Remedy #2
Method: Blow nose into tissue. Throw tissue away immediately without touching it again.
Effect: If your nose is running as much as mine is, you go through a lot of tissues and make a lot of trips to the trash can. Secondly, the reason for this was supposedly to stop from reinfecting myself over and over again with the same germs. I don't think that's really possible though; I expect others would not exactly benefit from reusing my tissues, but if I have a tissue in my pocket that I used to wipe my nose once, I think using that one a second time is better than, say, letting my nose drip onto my clothes or the desk or someplace worse.

Kyrgyzstani Remedy
Method: While still healthy, determine who is sick. If he or she sits next to you, get up and sit on the other side of the room. Apologize later as necessary.
Effect: I'm not sure whether or not this is a good preventative technique, but it certainly doesn't win you many points with the others in the room or with the sick person.

Kurdistani Remedy
Method: Boil an onion. Inhale fumes.
Effect: I haven't tried this one yet, but it's next on the list... Perhaps I will wear a garlic necklace as well to ward off vampires while I'm at it.