Shopping for a new subway ticket

Using public transit in Berlin is affordable, convienient, better for the environment, and improves one's problem solving skills.

I'm a big fan of public transportation, because I don't think it should be my responsibility to pay for ownership and maintenance of a car. I also don't think it should be my obligation to pay for insurance to cover situations (such as the one that happened to my brother a couple of weeks ago in Ohio) where you're driving along happily in your ugly but paid for jalopy, when some guy who (illegally) hasn't bothered to pay for his own insurance just plows into you. Your car is wrecked, and you grudgingly get a pathetic little check from your insurance company (supposedly for the fair value of your car), which you have no choice but to hand back over to the auto industry, along with a good chunk of your savings and future earnings. If you're lucky, you'll pay off the new loan before the same thing happens again.

Here in Berlin a lot of people are of the same opinion. Most of the people who have a car here in the city spend inordinate amounts of time trying to find parking or worrying about vandalism. Because so few people drive, it seems like many of those who do feel a heightened sense of empowerment and privilege. It's kind of like living in a world where all the drivers are from a WASP suburb, have just turned sixteen and want to show their friends the new toy their parents just gave them. Such people drive as quickly as possible between red lights, stomping on the gas when the light turns green and slamming on the brakes at the next intersection.

Fortunately, over time a rather impressive network of subways, elevated trains, streetcars and buses developed. It's a better way to get around town, and when you factor in how long it takes you to find parking, also generally faster.

What makes no sense, however, is how difficult Germans like to make it to figure out what kind of ticket you should buy, which are nonetheless almost never checked by bus drivers or controlling agents. There's the Kurztrecke (short trip), Einzelfahrt (single ride), Tageskarte (day ticket), 7-Tage-Karte (7 day ticket), Monatskarte (month ticket), 10-Uhr Monatskarte (month ticket after 10 o'clock), and Jahreskarte (year ticket), as well as the Kleingruppenkarte (small group ticket.) For visitors (cleverly marketed in neudeutsch for people that nicht sprechen the language), there is the CityTourCard (available in 48 and 72 hour varieties), the CityTourCard premium, and the WelcomeCard (again, 48 or 72 hours). There are special tickets available for families (the FamilienPass), for some but not all students and for apprentices (Auszubildende/Schülerkarten) and the Fahrradzeitkarte for people with bikes. And of course there are specific rules for people with dogs. Usually you can take one dog of reasonable size with you, but sometimes your best canine friend must have a separate valid ticket depending on what kind of ticket you have and on the number of dog companions your pet has with him. And there's always the question of whether you qualify for some other kind of discount due to your age, employment status, or income level.

While all that is almost straightforward, there's also the question of which zones you would like to travel in: AB (central Berlin and the outskirts), BC (only the outskirts of the city and the surrounding part of Brandenburg), or ABC, this entire region. Tickets valid for single zones or for zones A and C together are not available, although I'm surprised no one has thought of that yet. If you know where you are and where you want to go, this can also be determined fairly easily.

But, like the German language itself, there are plenty of other strange rules and exceptions. For example, if you have a monthly ticket and you're travelling after 8:00 p.m. or on the weekends, you can take a friend and up to three children (ages six to 13) with you. But if you're travelling with just a single ride ticket or day ticket, you can't. Which makes me wonder: if I'm riding with a monthly ticket on a Saturday with my wife, are we allowed to have two dogs with us or just one? What exactly classifies as a dog? Is that all animals in the order carnivora, or just those that are domesticated? In that case, shouldn't I be allowed to bring other animals onto the subway -- a friendly duck, perhaps? I don't understand why dogs get a rubber stamp while other animals are left to ambiguity. That smacks of animal favoritism to me.

And what about bikes? Do tricycles require a supplementary ticket? What about unicycles? How about other pieces of transportation equipment, such as a kayak? That is not much bigger than a bicycle. For example, what ticket should I buy if it's after 8:00 on February 29th, I'm traveling from Charlottenburg to Wannsee with my wife, a kayak, a tricycle, and a St. Bernard, and I'm unemployed?

I suppose the chances are pretty slim that we'd be checked...